#BlackMamasMatter - Celebrating Black Maternal Health Week 2023

Happy Black Maternal Health Week!

Never in a million years, did I think that we would still have to think about what it means to be black in America - yet alone a black woman. It’s scary. I’m glad I’ve made the decision that my childbearing days are over but my heart goes out to the women that have yet to explore the journey of motherhood.

Black women are like everyone else, we want to enjoy all the joys that come with pregnancy but when the fear of making it out is daunting. Will my doctor believe me when I say that something is wrong? Most pregnancy related deaths are preventable, so why does this keep happening? 




As I take a look back on my birthing experiences, I was only uncertain with my last child. Pregnancy was nothing new to me. I knew how my body responded and I was pretty in tune with myself. While in the third trimester with my son, I started experiencing extreme bouts of pain and discomfort. It was quickly waved off as the “end of pregnancy.” I spoke with my doctor about needing to go out for maternity leave early because my body couldn’t handle what was to come. I was told that as a woman we fought for equal rights as women so I needed to continue to work until the baby came; if I wanted to go out of work it would be up to me to use personal leave. Needless to say, I was shocked. Considering my history with complex pregnancies, I just knew this wasn’t going to be a big deal. As the weeks went on my blood pressure continued to skyrocket, but no one seemed concerned until I was 37 weeks when it was well into the stroke level. 

I was rushed into an emergency c-section, 2 weeks early after my doctor reviewed my chart and realized that my blood pressure had consistently been evaluated over the last few weeks. I was diagnosed with “late term preeclampsia.” During my stay at the hospital I felt extremely anxious, I wanted to be home. I didn’t feel comfortable. I experienced several strange encounters with staff and doctors that I felt I would be better off at home. After being home for less than 48 hours, I experienced the worst pain of my life. I was worried that my incision had become infected. My stomach, vagina, and inner thighs had become swollen, hot, and red. I went to the emergency room to sit for 3 hours only for them to tell me that they couldn’t help me and I needed to see the surgeon that performed the c-section. I felt defeated. Hopeless. Like how could you turn me around when I’m telling you I’m in excruciating pain and you can visibly see it. Thankfully, it was only a staph infection but it could have been so much worse. I made it through this experience alive while many have not.


If you’ve been watching the news lately, then you’ve heard that latest report from the CDC that the maternal mortality rate is at an all time high, especially for black women. In 2020, the maternal mortality rate for Black women was 3 times the rate for White women in the United States. Multiple factors contribute to these disparities, such as lower quality healthcare, structural racism, and implicit bias from healthcare providers, and underlying chronic conditions. (Source: CDC

I never wanted to think that the color of my skin could have been a reason for me being treated the way I was. The more stories I hear, the more I realize that it was a real possibility. The Black Mamas Alliance is doing the work to amplify these stories and create change. The #BMHW23 theme is “Our Bodies Belong to Us: Restoring Black Autonomy and Joy,” which speaks to our strength, power and resilience, and our unassailable right to live freely, safely, and joyfully. The events and programming being planned throughout #BMHW23 will fully embody this theme and offer opportunities to engage in activities and conversations that honor the values and traditions of the reproductive and birth justice movements.


Join me in supporting the Black Mamas Matter Alliance by helping them reach their #BMHW23 fundraising goal of $50,000 at www.blackmamasmatter.org/donate Your investment helps BMMA to share the challenges impacting Black birthing people, celebrate innovation of Black-led models of holistic maternal and reproductive health care, as well as amplify the voices of Black Mamas to shift the narrative to center our joy, activism, and creativity.

While things won’t change overnight, the more that we discuss it I’m hopeful that we will see a difference. No mother should have to fear surviving pregnancy. My mother has always told me that the closest you’ll ever be to death is giving birth. That statement has never been more relevant than it is today.

#BlackMamas are magical, we need them around. I don’t know what I would do without my own mother and the other mothers in my life that have provided me guidance and support throughout this journey of motherhood. 

Black Mamas Matter Shirts designed by 37:23 Apparel. Use code Natalie until April 30, 2023 to receive a discount.

If you could give your mother ANYTHING for Mother's Day, what would it be?

I came up with the idea to give Kaydence a writing prompt because I want her to continue reading and writing while she’s out of school. This is the one she choose and my heart just melts!

Friendly Reminder: Mother’s Day is May 12th!!!

My sweet girl, Kaydence!

My sweet girl, Kaydence!

If I could give my mom anything it would be an unlimited gift card to any place. One because it’s unlimited, two some days are tough and she might be hungry or just want to get something nice for herself (like she does constantly…just kidding mom), or she might want to do something fun and now she’d have the money to do it.

I know she would like it because it’s unlimited and who wouldn’t like that? She likes to do a lot of shopping. I don’t think they have any cards like that though. She would be so happy to have an endless supply of money to buy anything she wants and I mean ANYTHING. Plus she deserves it! 

Freely Nat Kaydence

Do you encourage your kids to write? We have started our mother/daughter journal and I can’t wait to see what comes of it.

Shopping Made Easy With Binxy Baby

I swear new inventions are being created every day and who knew someone would come up with something so cool! I remember being a new mom struggling to figure out what to do when going to the grocery store. My first time as a new mom, I went to Walmart on a quick shopping trip and decided to take the stroller inside thinking it would be a fabulous idea. Haha, boy was I wrong. That was the worst idea I have ever had. I was putting my items in the bottom of the stroller and I started getting dirty looks, I’m sure people thought I was stealing so I grabbed a cart.

Pushing a stroller and shopping cart is not for the faint of heart. Learn from my mistake, don’t try it! Next grocery trip, I decided to ditch the stroller and just take the car seat…well it worked out better but you’re limited on spaced when baby is placed in the cart.

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Well Binxy Baby had the right idea! They help make shopping trips easier! Clip the hammock to your shopping cart and place either the car seat or baby inside. The hammock can safely hold up to 50 pounds!

I’ve had the opportunity to try the product out for myself and I love it! This makes things so much easier. If you’re interested in getting one for yourself click here and you’ll receive 10% off!

Freely Nat x Binxy Baby

Welcome Home Baby Clayton

I’m back!!! Thank you for joining me for this special post that I thought would never come, lol.

My birth story!!!

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I will be the first to tell you that giving birth almost NEVER goes the way you hope for it to. Sorry, it just doesn’t and my story isn’t any different. FYI: I had plans on being a total diva going into surgery and that didn’t get to happen.

Tuesday, January 15th I arrived at work with a positive outlook on the day knowing I only had one day left and I would start my leave. I was scheduled for my 38 week check at 10:00 am so I left work and headed to the doctors office. I told my boss I would see her later and hurried to my car.

After checking in, the nurse checks my blood pressure and ask if I’m okay. I’m like yeah, I’m having a great day. Her face was extremely perplexed and she said I’m going to let you chill out and I’ll be back to check you. She came back and my blood pressure went up some more.

My doctor came in and we began discussing my upcoming cesarean and then before she left she asked was I busy for the rest of the day. I told her I could clear my schedule. She said I’m sending you to the hospital I don’t like the way your blood pressure is acting and I would like to monitor you for a few hours. I took a deep breath and said okay. Not knowing this would be the day I would see my little guy.

I quickly call my mom to let her know and followed up with a call to dad. Of course this would be the one day he decides to fall all the way asleep after work. (Thank you night shift!) I begin to panic a little because he’s two hours away and if anything were to happen he was going to miss his son’s birth.

Well of course, the inevitable happened. My blood pressure continued to sky rocket hitting 161/200 and they knew it was time to deliver. They didn’t want to continue to take any chances with me. They told me I would be going back for surgery at 3:00 pm mind you at this time it’s 1:00 pm.

I can’t accurately describe what I felt in that moment. I was alone and scared out of my mind. My mom and sister did their best to keep me calm over FaceTime until someone could get to the hospital with me. I hadn’t talked to dad and I knew he was going to miss it. I began calling everyone I knew that could possibly go by his house to wake him up. Luckily something clicked and he woke up but not in time. He called me and we exchanged our sweet what-nots and I went back for surgery.

As they prepped me for surgery all I could think about was - I’m really doing this. I’m having a baby today. This is not how I wanted it to go. This was not apart of MY PLAN but God always has a plan and sometimes it’s not aligned with ours. They asked me several times was I sure I wanted to have my tubal done and there was no doubt in my mind. They even tried to stall for few moments in hopes dad would walk through the door at any second

3:30 pm - He’s here

I was knocked out cold so I didn’t get to hear his first cry but my mom says it was everything! He truly has a set of lungs on him.

Clayton RM
Clayton Middleton
Newborn Clayton

When I entered the recovery room I really don’t remember much. I think I was pretty medicated. The anesthesiologist told me he would try a new medicine on me to keep me numb and I shouldn’t feel any pain from the surgery for at least 2-3 days.

I finally came to life and dad had arrived!!! I was so happy and hoped that he didn’t miss the big moment. Seeing the look on his face made it all worth it!

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I would like to give a quick disclaimer, having a c-section is major surgery! You need to allow your body to heal and make sure you’re doing what your body needs of you. Also trust yourself, you know yourself better than anyone and I listened to that voice in my head. My body didn’t feel right after a few days of coming home. My incision felt funny and I was in a lot of pain. I tried to dismiss it as me getting older but the truth was something was wrong.I caught an infection after surgery.

I don’t tell you this to scare you but it does happen. With any procedure you have there are some risk. I’ve had two previous c-sections without any major complications. This time I just wasn’t as lucky. I’m doing much better now but this reminds me to take care of myself.

Ladies listen to your body!