How To Stop Wedding Stress From Wrecking Your Relationship

Weddings should be a celebration of love but all too often they can actually worsen the relationship. I know this first hand - I almost called off our wedding because the stress was really getting to me and affecting our relationship negatively. That’s because, in their modern incarnation, they’ve become major events and tremendously difficult to organize. There are so many expectations and things that you need to do.

The good news is that there are now a bunch of tried-and-test techniques out there that couples can use to bust wedding stress and just have a great day. Here’s what to do:

Prioritize What Matters

Before you begin planning your wedding, prioritize what matters to you, and what doesn’t. Ask yourselves whether you’re going to nitpick every detail or just have a basic wedding. If you set expectations early on, it helps to set the tone for the rest of the process. 

Some couples split wedding tasks into “must-have” and “nice to have.” This way, they have a better understanding of what is truly important to them, and what doesn’t quite matter as much.

Communicate More Effectively

According to research, lack of communication is the main issue driving wedding stress (and, interestingly, not just a lack of communication between the partners). In many cases, failure to communicate with the parents and other siblings drives conflict. 

According to wedding planning experts, communication is everything. Family arguments can easily erupt when people don’t effectively communicate with each other. Even small things can hurt their feelings, causing tensions and even fighting between the couple themselves. 

Offload Some Of The Responsibility To Vendors

Many couples believe that they need to be CEOs of their own weddings, planning everything out with military precision. However, those that experience the least stress always delegate. 

For instance, you don’t have to micromanage your photographer. As Matt Birchall Photography points out, professionals can simply follow your brief and implement it throughout the day. They don’t require constant oversight. 

If you're struggling to cope with the sheer number of people involved in your wedding, then you might want to hire a wedding manager. These professionals take responsibility by liaising with all relevant parties on your behalf, freeing you up to simply enjoy the day. 

Have A Plan B

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Weddings can be super stressful if you only have a plan A. That’s because there is no guarantee that things will work out how you intend. For example, it’s common for outdoor weddings to get rained off, even in the summer. If you have nowhere else to go, the entire event could be a washout. 

Spend Time On Self-Care

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In the run-up to the wedding, you can lose track of self-care. There’s just so much to do and think about that it becomes almost impossible to find time and space to focus on just you. 

Spending time on self-care, though, is essential. If you don’t, it can result in reduced libido, headaches, and even a reduction in your appetite. Some people even lose their hair over wedding stress: not a good look for the big day. 

Therefore, spend some time unwinding every day. Don’t allow wedding planning to dominate all your thoughts. 

Tips For Building Your Wedding Budget

I like most young girls think about their weddings and what they would like for years before they even get engaged. They know the theme, the location, the honeymoon. They even have ideas about the glamorous dress they plan to wear on the biggest walk they’ll ever go on. The thing is, while you’re dreaming about handcrafted wedding cupcakes with a delicate swirl, and while you’re dreaming about the adults-only all inclusive holiday to Jamaica, and while you’re thinking about the engraved wedding rings - that’s all going to add up real fast.

I quickly discovered that weddings are a business as much as they are a beautiful ceremony between people who love one another. They’re a time for you to show yourselves as a couple to your friends and family, and there will be a day where people talk about the “event” that is your wedding. Of course, you just care about being married, but that doesn't mean that you can’t have a stylish wedding. The biggest question is how you plan to afford your day. Some people rely on the bank of Mum and Dad and others choose to use the help of Buddy Loans to see them through to their big day. Then there are those who spend years and years saving for the potentially biggest day of their lives. Below, we’ve put together some fantastic tips for you to be able to build the best possible wedding budget for your big day.

Make a point of setting a limit. You need to be firm with your wedding day bottom line. Once you set up what you can afford to spend, you can then stick to that spending limit when you are dancing around the shops buying invitations and chair covers. Keep a notepad where you can specifically write down all of the things that you buy and their costs as you buy them. This will help you to keep good track of your spending as you do it.

1. Allow yourself some luxuries. Yes, there is a budget, but this is hopefully going to be the only wedding day you will ever have. You can stay within your budget but it’s much better to allow yourself some indulgences, too. For example, you might choose to make sure that your wedding cars are the best of the best. Some things, like photography, you should never skimp on.

2. Be realistic. Are you really going to need a ballgown dress with a Lady Diana train and veil? Are you going to want to have a tented wedding on the beach if you know that you will want to have a sit-down meal? Daydream as much as you please, but be realistic in the actual planning. You’ll be able to use your budget much better if you do.

3. Prioritize. You need a wedding, but guests are an important part of a wedding, so perhaps prioritizing your guests first is a good idea. You need to decide the type of wedding that you want so that you can ensure that you get the best of the best that will suit your budget at the same time.

4. Never forget your tips. We may not be in the US, but that doesn't mean that you won’t want to tip your suppliers. It’s customary in this industry to offer a tip at the end of the service at night. You might not have considered it, but your wedding team is going to be up through the night with you. Yes, they’re being paid for their job, and if they go above and beyond a tip is a good thing.

1. Pick one. If you’ve daydreamed about a big sit down dinner followed by a buffet of bacon rolls in the evening, you’re just like most soon-to-be-married couples. You might want to consider cutting one of these off because you’re going to go so much further with your budget when you have just one of these options. You can save so much money when you make one choice.

2. Don't forget to factor in your deposits. Almost all wedding suppliers require a deposit for services, with the final balance due by the wedding date. Take the time to figure out which suppliers require which amount of cash and get cash envelopes ready for them. These will help you to keep everything in line so that you can offer your deposits early. If you budget your deposits well on paper, you can see whether you can afford the wedding of your dreams - or not. 

3. Get help. Have you got family members and friends who would be willing to help? Someone with a connection to a luxury car company or a florist, perhaps? These people in your life are going to be invaluable to you. They’re going to be able to help you to pull together your wedding day - just make sure that you ask nicely! You can utilise the help of your friends and family and cut down the costs dramatically for your wedding day. If you know someone who can help you to tailor your wedding dress, ask for their help, too. Tailoring doesn't have to be an outrageous cost this way!

4. Allocate the budget. Once you have a total budget in mind, you can work on allocating it. So, 10% to your bridal gown accessories and 30% to the venue. Shopping around can really help you to bring the prices right down when you are building a wedding budget.

5. Ask your parents. If you have parents willing to help financially, ask them to chip in with the honeymoon. It’s 2021, so it’s more likely that you will have the finances to pay for your wedding yourself rather than your parents dividing costs between them. Of course, if they offer to help you with your costs, don't say no! They will love being able to help you out with the biggest day of your life. This is your wedding day - you don't have to be out of pocket to make this day beautiful.