Happy Birthday, Kaydence

My Sweet Baby Girl,

Today, you are 10! Double digits baby!!! I still remember every detail about the day you were born. I had my 38th week check up the day before and I was in so much pain. You were ready for the world but I'm not quite sure I was ready for you. Dr. Hutchinson rushed me to Labor and Delivery. He placed me on strict bed rest for the next 24 hours and told me by 8 am the next morning I would be holding you. You know how I tell you things don't always go according to plan but they work out just like they should? Well, your birth was no different.

6 am arrives and Dr. Hutchinson was ready to take me back and prepare for your c-section BUT a trauma patient came in and we got pushed back. To say the least, I was irritated AND I couldn't eat! (And you all know how Mommy gets when she's hungry. #Hangry) At this point, it felt like it was one thing after another! It felt like nothing would go the way it was intended

Finally, somewhere in the 3 o'clock hour, they came to wheel me back. Nana was dressed in her scrubs to greet you and I couldn't have been more pleased. You were born at 4:19 pm...and what a beautiful sight you were. I couldn't see you because they put me to sleep. Everyone told me you were perfect; and of course, you were - you are mine! When I came into the recovery room and I realized what was happening everyone says I only asked one thing "does she have hair?" It was believed that if you didn't have heartburn during your pregnancy then your baby wouldn't have any hair. Your Nana laughed at me and replied: "She has plenty!" 

I know you worry when you see me cry but sometimes, it's happy tears! Other times, I cry because I worry if I've done enough. I wonder if I'm showing you the right way. I wonder how you feel about the life I've given you thus far. Our life hasn't been perfect. We've struggled and Lord knows I've done my best to never let you know it. I love you with every piece of me. I stare at you in pure amazement because I can't believe you're mine. You're so smart, talented, and beautiful. Please don't you EVER forget that!

You were my special gift - something I didn't know I needed. We've grown up together and we're still growing. I hope to make you as proud as you make me.

Love, 

Mom

Wow, it's been 10 years since I became a MOM. I'm not sure how I feel about that. It's scary. My daughter is the best thing that has ever happened to me. She made me a better person. She taught me some life lessons that you can only achieve through experience! 

Let's have a transparent moment here: I wish I had the perfect story to give my baby about how she was planned and we anticipated her arrival but I don't. She doesn't have the baby books filled with "mom and dad" - she only has me. My pregnancy was HORRIBLE. It felt like death and they say childbirth is closest you'll ever be to death. (They aren't lying!) I believe there was a purpose... there were so many times I wanted to give up - but I didn't. I was 16 and didn't know what the heck I was doing or how I would manage. But God had a different plan for me. He chose to give me her. He knew she was just what I needed. He's prepared me to be all that I can I can be for her. 

Although my journey with motherhood hasn't been the easiest it has been worth it. I look forward to her going to middle school, graduating high school and attending college. My wish for my baby is that she is better than I ever was.